Saturday, August 6, 2011

Wilkommen in meinem Alptraum./nur fur die Einsamer

and yes that's El Debarge at 1:19...El Who? Yeah, right, like you weren't tappin your toes to "Where's Johnny" in 1986
OK, I wasn't tappin my toes either like that Homo Larry Craig, but I was sure hummin the hell out of it...
Hummin the song, not Larry Craig, dammit.
and thats "Welcome to my Nightmare" you ignorant Mono-Lingual Fucks... Sorry, just a little P-O'd,, losin $50,000 in less than 4 hrs will do that to you.What??? You don't have close to a million bucks invested in a diversified mixture of aggressive growth stocks, Blue Chips, Bonds, Precious Metals, and Money Markets??? Me either, just a stupid Vanguard S&P 500, a 1959 Mickey Mantle baseball card, and a "Used" 1973 Penthouse Calendar... So come wander with me, won't you?, to that simpler time of 1984, when the thought of a Black President was fodder only for racist jokes and bad "Saturday Nite Live" skits...
Still remember dancin to this song at the 1984 Prom...
and yes, I graduated Highschool in 1980, I didn't say it was My Prom.
It was my Sister's Prom, and I wasn't one of those Chivalrous Older Brothers who
took his homely little Sister to the Prom like Richie did with Joanie on "Happy Days""
My Sister was hot .
OK, not as hot as Phoebe Cates in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"
My sister was more like the other one, the one who got knocked up by the Stereo Salesman in the Little League Dugout, but I'm gettin ahead of the story.
I was the Chivalrous Older Brother who took his Sister to the "Family Planning " Clinic like Judge Rheinhold did with Jennifer Jason Leigh in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" aftet she got knocked up by the Stereo Salesman in the Little League Dugout.
And it turned out she wasn't pregnant afterall, just one of those Wimmin Thangs where there Hoo -Ha
zigs instead of zags, I mean doesn't bleed when it's supposed to bleed,
But I had her just where I wanted her, Over a Barrel,
Not literally Over a Barrel, that would be Creepy, I mean Figure-tively, as in
if she didn't want me to tell Mommy & Daddy, she had to hook me up with her friend
who had the best Figure.
Which is how I came to be dancing with Jessica at the 1984 Milbrook Highschool Senior Prom...